I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
