Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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