Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
