I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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