I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
