they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
