I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
