yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
