I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
