is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
