Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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