Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you inspire me to be a worse person
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
