Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
someone owes me an orgasm
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
