I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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