I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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