was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
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Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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