why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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