Screwed.edu
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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