I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
