Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
