I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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