He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
