5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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