is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
