So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
