Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
