i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
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Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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