There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
