I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
