My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
