I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
