i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize