How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
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Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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