YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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