Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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