So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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