Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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