Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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