Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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