Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
