I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
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