just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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