I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
