her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize