If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize