I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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