Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
