OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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