The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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