I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
