I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
