Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize