I think i sorta joined a cult last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
