bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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