This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize