i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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