so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
