You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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