I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sorry about my life...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
