I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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