My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
