Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Porn is love you can see.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
