Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
