I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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