Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
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I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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