no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
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If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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